Auctioning Arnold
by TheReaperGrimm
Summary: The Hillwood High football team is auctioning dates with it's players for a fundraiser. When Helga catches wind of this, she devises a plan to outbid everyone in the hopes of winning a date with Arnold, the captain of the football team. However, many shenanigans and troubles arise and Helga will find out exactly how much she is willing to do to finally have go on a date with Arnold


Auctioning Arnold

**A/N: Just a fun idea I thought of while watching Full House and Zoey 101 holding "people auctions" lead to a bunch of fun shenanigans! The FTI incident has occurred, but not TJM. This will take place while the gang is in High School, freshmen year to be specific. (Because we all know freshmen year was a magical time, NOT!) :P I hope you enjoy. Reviews are always welcome. As always, I don't own Hey Arnold or any original characters. ****I'm just another crazy fan.**

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"High school is really cramping my style Pheebs," I whined slamming my locker.

"Whatever do you mean Helga? I believe that so far our experience as freshmen in high school has been rather enjoyable," Phoebe replied.

"Look Phoebe, I just don't know how to explain it. We're halfway through the ninth grade and I still don't know who I am. Everyone in our little gang has fit into their respective groups," I explained with air quotes, "Princess is the school gossip, Pink Boy is the school jock, Sid and Stinko are the school idiots, Geraldo is Mr. Cool, Li-la is still Little Miss Perfect, and heck, you're the school brain. It seems like everyone has a place in the crazy house except me!"

"Helga, you and I both know you could care less about social standings and fitting in. What's really on your mind?"

"Nothing," I snort as we walked to the auditorium for the freshmen assembly.

"Well Helga, while most of your observations have been correct, I can't help but noticed you neglected to mention where Arn- I mean Ice Cream hold his social stature," Phoebe said as we rounded a corner, "perhaps you're newfound insecurities have come into light now that Arnold's popularity has reached it's all time high?"

I inwardly sigh, Phoebe knew me too damn well, "Look Phoebe if Arnoldo wants to me Mr. Sports Star and Mr. Class VP then what's it to me? He's Mr. Popular and I'm some nobody. No big deal," I grumble and we continue walking.

Phoebe rolls her eyes, used to my usual ranting and waits for me to continue.

"Anyways, like I was saying, I—OOF!" I yelp as we rounded another corner. The familiar feeling of bumping into someone and landing my back and hitting my head on the ground overcame me. I immediately scowled as I rubbed my head. I looked around for the wise guy who ran into me, but I was seeing stars from hitting me head.

"Look bucko, why don't you watch where you're going!" I holler as I blinked the stars out of my eyes.

"Geez, I'm really sorry…Helga?" apologized an all too familiar voice to me.

Suddenly I felt a strong hand on my shoulder, and before I knew it, I was looking into the concerned jelly bean eyes of Arnold as he knelt on the ground next to me.

He bit his lip in an adorable way before saying, "Sorry Helga, I didn't see you there. I hope you didn't hit your head too hard when you fell. I'd hate to think I'd hurt you."

'_Oh Arnold,"_ I inwardly swoon, _'even when fate brings us crashing together in the most accidental way your sweet and loving nature prevails. How kind and thoughtful of him to worry about my wellbeing although I also caused him to fall. And now, coupled with his sweet nature, I am graced by his gentle and comforting touch. Oh Arnold! You are a sweet prince amongst petty serfs.' _

"Oh Arnold," I swoon in a soft voice as Phoebe and Arnold help me to my feet, "Of course I'm alright, you silly boy. Of course I forgive you."

Phoebe coughs loudly in an attempt to cover after my slipup.

"Uh, yeah, well thanks Helga," Arnold said with a hint of surprise as he pulled me to my feet.

Phoebe and lock eyes for a moment. She raises her eyebrows as if saying 'Now! Now is your chance! Say something nice.' I bit my lower lip and shuffled my feet as I decided what to do. I could either say something nice to Arnold, and risk accidently swooning again or looking like a fool or I could take the easy way out and revert to my antisocial tendencies. I looked at Arnold, and he sent me a warm smile, and I crack.

"Why dontcha watch where you're going for cripes sakes Football Head! And while you're at it, quit crashing into me all the time! Are you stalking me or something you creepy little creep?!" I spew out.

His eyes harden and become half lidded.

"Nice seeing you too Helga, bye Phoebe, nice seeing you," he said, waving us off as he headed into the auditorium.

'_What the heck you basket case?_ _You crash into Arnold and he apologizes, acts genuinely concerned for your wellbeing and you yell at the guy? Criminey what an idiot!' _I grumble. I prepare myself for Phoebe's disappointment but she looks at me and says nothing. Wordlessly, Phoebe and I walk into the auditorium. We take our seats with the geeks and rejects in the back while Arnold sat with the popular crew in the front. As the presentation on who knows what began, I played with the worn hem of my Hillwood High hoodie. I wasn't one for school spirit, but nowadays all my wardrobe consisted of hoodies, jeans, and sneakers. The presentation was a znooze fest and I could feel myself drifting to sleep. My plans were cut off by a sharp whisper.

"Helga, what on earth was that?" Phoebe whispers, referring to the incident with Arnold just a few moments ago.

"Nothing!" I whisper back harshly, "Just forget it."

Phoebe was not amused. In the years since Phoebe broke her leg in fourth grade she gradually became more and more outspoken (to me anyways), and nowadays was not shy about voicing her opinions to me.

"No, not forgetting. Helga why did you revert to your old ways? You and I both knew that was your chance to make a kind gesture to Arnold, in an attempt of building some kind of relationship with him! You promised the next time you saw Arnold you would try!"

"Yeah like you're one to talk to Pheebs, we both know you aren't the boldest when it comes to building relationships! You've liked tall hair boy almost as long as I've liked Ice Cream and yet you've barely said two words to him since the school year started!" I retort a bit too loudly, earning a bunch of glares and angry complaints.

Phoebe shoots me a dirty look.

Immediately, I felt guilty for taking my anger out on her. Phoebe was forever an innocent by standard to my rage.

"I'm sorry Phoebe," I whisper with a soft smile, "forgive me?"

Phoebe smiles back, "Forgiving," she answers with a small of her own, "_now please Helga, explain_."

"Alright Pheebs, yeesh, no need to get all demanding," I joked.

"_Helga…"_

"Okay, okay. I don't know Phoebe, I know I promised I'd try to put my obsessive nature into trying to build an actual relationship with Arnold, but it seems too late now. We're not in elementary school anymore. There are so many other girls here who Arnold could go for, any of which would be better than me. I don't see the point in trying when all I would be doing is setting myself up for failure. Arnold is the captain of the football team and I'm just some reject. There's no way I could build a friendship with the guy let alone go on a date with him!"

Before Phoebe could reply we got even more angry complaints.

"Shut it!"

"Shhh!"

"Quiet!"

"If you two don't quiet down I'm calling an administrator! I'm trying to listen!" yelled some brace faced loser.

"Yeah, yeah, we got the message, no need to get your panties in a knot!" I yelled back.

"Yeesh, you'd think that this presentation was actually interesting or something, huh Pheebs?" I asked, and we quieted down.

After Phoebe and I decided to continue our conversation after class and I decided to admire the back of Arnold's cute oblong head. Whatever presentation was going on couldn't be any more interesting than gazing at my beloved, so I looked for Arnold in his usual seat. But when I searched for him, I found he was on stage instead of in the crowd. He and the whole freshmen football team were standing on the stage with half the cheerleading team. Gerlado and Arnold were at the podium with the microphone. Arnold looked a bit nervous, but Gerald looked as cool as ever.

"Would you like to go on a date with my mine man Arnold here? Well, you're in luck ladies, because this Friday_ one_ of you lucky ladies will be going out with Arnold here. That's right, one lucky lady is going to go on a date with Arnold this Friday, it's guaranteed," Gerald said smoothly into the microphone.

Standing beside him, Arnold blushed, and coughed nervously. Collective gasps and feminine squeals could be heard across the theatre. There wasn't a freshman, hell; there wasn't a girl at Hillwood High who wouldn't want to go on a date with Arnold.

'_What? Was I dreaming of did tall hair boy just ask if I (well anyone in the crowd technically) would like to go on a date with Arnold? '_My jaw dropped. _'Why yes. Yes, I would like to go on a date with Arnold. After all I have been pinning after the guy ever since preschool and I was just discussing with Phoebe how I would like to go on a date with Arnold, your main man,'_ I thought, my eyes wide. I began shaking Phoebe frantically, waiting for Gerald to continue.

"And how will you be going on this date, you may ask," He finally continued.

'_Yes!'_ I inwardly exclaimed, on the edge of my seat, '_How? How! HOW?'_

"Well this Friday after school the football team will be auctioning off dates with all its players including me," Gerald continued, smoothing out his goatee and winking, "and Arnold here! The money will be going toward funding the team to go to state this year, so we need all the help we can get. Each player's bid will begin at $10 and will rise by the demand by the ladies," Gerald continued smoothly, "so to be able to win a date with the player of your choice you have to bid the highest!"

Cheers from the girls in the crowd could be heard, and a few girls could be heard screaming "I love you Arnold!" I angrily scowled, but the scowl left my face as soon as Arnold opened his mouth to speak.

"I hope everyone comes out to support the football team, and remember the auction is just for fun. Just so the guys aren't left out, we will also be auctioning dates with a few of the cheerleaders as well so take a look around and figure out who you want to make your bids on!" Arnold laughed.

This time, cheers could be heard from everyone in the auditorium. I smiled and imagined all the glorious things Arnold and I could do when we went on our date. Bowling? Movies? A picnic? Dinner in Paris? Well, maybe not dinner in Paris, but the possibilities were endless. I giggled like a fool and clutched my heart.

"Oh Arnold…"I sighed.

"Helga?" Phoebe's voice cut through my fantasy lightly slapping my cheek, "Helga?"

I looked up into Phoebe's worried face and smiled.

"I've got it Phoebe!"

"Oh, uhm, what have you got Helga?"

"I know how you and I will get dates with Arnold and Gerald."

"But Helga…I know what Gerald said, but you know Arnold and Gerald are the two most popular boys on the football team. How on earth are we going to get the dates with them? We would have to outbid almost every girl in or freshmen class, and let's not forget about the upperclassmen!" Phoebe countered.

"Don't worry Pheebs," I said as the bell rang and we walked to class, _"I've got a plan."_

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**I hope you enjoyed the first chapter. There's still lot's to come.**** Let me now what you think! Review, Favorite, whatever. Suggestions are always welcome. :)**


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